So I joined my high school's speech and debate team recently. I decided to compete in the event called oratory. It's where you write your own persuasive essay on any current social issue in the world. I had my first meet like a month ago and I won third place. Cool, right? I thought so too. But anyway, I figured some stuff out when I wrote my own oratory essay and I wanted to share it. : ) So here it is:
I know this woman. She is strong, beautiful, wise and content with her life; everything that I aspire to be. She has a great relationship with her husband and I don’t think I have ever seen her lose her temper outside of reason. For privacy purposes, let’s call her Jane. Anyway, one day Jane allowed me to read her diary from when she was sixteen, not too long ago and just about my age. And it completely AMAZED me what the first page read.
Dear diary,
Man… things are so messed up lately; I just don’t know what to do about it any more. My mom ran away, dad refuses to eat, sleep, or do anything except work. He is so stressed out about this divorce. He’s lost and I’m helpless to do anything about it. This all makes my heart hurt so much. I don’t know what to do. What are you supposed to do when your mom hates your dad? How are you supposed to watch people fall apart? Didn’t she know it’s supposed to be until death do you part? Sometimes even longer if you believe in that sort of thing. Wasn’t she supposed to know it was her job to love him no matter what? And what about dad? What a dummy head! You’re not supposed to cheat on your wife you jerk… of course she’s going to be upset when you do that. “Hell hath no fury like a women’s scorn” But it was just one mistake… A major one yes, I’ll admit, but where did you expect him to go when you’re constantly bringing him down? When you’re constantly calling him stupid or a jerk and lots of other names I really shouldn’t repeat. “Treat others as you want to be treated” The golden rule says it all mom. I don’t know if I can go on like this any longer. What should I do?
Sincerely, Jane
What would you do if you were Jane? Or even worse, how many of you are Jane? Well from what I’ve seen, Jane didn’t overcome it in a night. it was a process. A process of heartbreaking acceptance, receiving the waves of feelings, releasing them and moving on to bigger and better things. None of which are always easy to do.
When her parents split up, something inside of Jane shut down. For the longest while, she just kept going like nothing happened. Almost as if she was in “Lala” Land while her world started to change, to fall apart if you will. The hardest thing for a person to do is accept. Jane had to accept that she had problems at home. That there was something that wasn’t right. She had to realize that her families’ troubles were actually troubles.
You see, the funny thing about troubles is that they don’t go away. In fact, they usually just grow into bigger, hairier clumps, like the ones that clog the shower drain. In order to fix a clog you have to accept that it’s there. You have to accept that whatever issue going on in your life is actually an issue.
Once you understand that you have a problem; that like Jane, something in your life is hurting you you’re usually going to end up with a lot of emotions. Sometimes so much emotion that you won’t know what to do with it. SO much emotion, you could cry and yell all at the same time. You feel like hitting someone but being hugged, thinking it might take away that pain and confusion. You want to see everyone then hide away and never see a human being again. You need something to do but don’t want to do anything. Every minute a battle to deal with the emotional baggage you are carrying around. Jane describes internal battles like those throughout her parents’ divorce in her diary. From whether to put up her hair or not; to deciding if she wanted to keep on living that day.
Jane had every right to feel those things. It’s only human to have emotion. No one can blame a kid for struggling with a divorce. About 10% of the U.S. is divorced each year, so there are kids who deal with this all the time. It does happen. But it is possible to overcome the heartbreak without breaking your future. Jane had to deal with her feelings the right way.
Obviously it wasn’t okay for her to commit suicide, just like it is not okay to murder someone when you are angry with them. You have to deal with your pain, with your fears, but you cannot let the waves of emotion crush you. The way to survive waves is not to fight them, but to go with the flow and wait for the waves to wash you to shore.
Ben Franklin said “While we may not be able to control all that happens to us, we can control what happens inside us.” That is exactly what we need to do. Finding ways to cope is the key to having power in your life. When you are in a position like Jane was, sometimes it feels like there is no hope. As if your life is going to suck forever.
However, if you just immerse yourself in things that make you happy, that make you forget why you are angry, then you have this ability to control your feelings. Once you have that control, you start to figure out why you feel that way and how to get rid of it. When it comes to this concept, I love to turn back to one of Jane’s entries:
Dear Diary,
Mom, you hurt me when you left. I felt like you abandoned me. That because you didn’t seem to love me enough to stay that no one else could love me. But I figured out that isn’t true. That you are the one who lost out, because I am beautiful and strong and capable of being on my own; I finally understand that just because you chose to make a stupid mistake doesn’t mean that I have to follow in your footsteps. But that I also have no control over your actions and I have the choice to make better decisions than you did. I don’t have to fail just because you did. And dad I know you made mistakes, but you helped me learn that just because someone makes a mistake, that doesn’t make them a bad person. That people change. That people can progress, they can improve. You taught me that in order to get past a problem, you don’t involve yourself in revenge. You involve yourself in forgiveness. That grudges do nothing but eat your from the inside out.I love you both, but that doesn't mean I have to love your choices. In fact, I have the right to hate some of your decisions. But what good would that do me? The best thing I can think of is to forgive you, Mom and Dad, because anything less would just continue to hurt me instead of help.I understand that the most important thing for me to do is to get through this and then make myself better because of it. It is most important for me to learn from this, not make a waste of my life because of this.
Sincerely,Jane
Jane figured it out. The best thing to do when something or someone hurts you is to let it go. But what do you do after that? Where do you go with your new found freedom?
The best option is to move on, find new things to do; new goals to fulfill. DO not hold a grudge, whatever you do. Get great things to fill you time with. Go to college, join a sports team; anything that could lead you to the path in life that will make you the happiest. Most importantly, move on to goals that will break the cycle. Do things better this time, do not make your kids go through the same things you did. If it was divorce that broke your family, be careful and patient with your relationships. If abuse tore apart your home, make sure you're never the abuser. If you get angry, just walk away.
Thomas Paine said, "If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace." Give your posterity peace; you have the choice to rise above your circumstances. Learn from your parents' mistakes. "The family you come from isn't as important as the family you're going to have." These words from Ring Lardner are so important to understand. We, the youth, are the future of the world and nothing should hold us back from making it a better place.
There you have it. How to overcome your trials in a nut-shell. Just like Jane you have to take control. Accept your troubles, get through the waves, let go, and never look back. It may take days, months, or years, but any one girl, boy, woman, or man can overcome the pains of a broken home and improve their life.
There it is. Any comments or thoughts?
Friday, December 2, 2011
Poems
These are some of my older poems. Have fun reading them.
SO Grown
A girl so grown has forgotten
How not grown she's gotten
Foolish decisions
And irrational actions
Are the way of love reactions
Some say to love young
Is to love best
And you've puttin that to the test
For all the richest in the world
No one's richer that a young boy and girl
This time those two
They appear to be me and you
A special weave
Destiny's designed
Where more than fatuation can be fashioned
First loves are overrated
And neither of us is that
For that, my good sir, I have to tip my hat
Because first loves are deceiving
And now we know a broken heart
So hopefully fate won't tear us apart
i know I seem to ramble
And my thoughts a bit unclear
But let me tell you one thing
And make it really clear
I don't deny connection
And distance doesn't matter
I just think it'll make it better
If we wait a year
By December my 15th six months gone
And the magic number is half way along
If it can go for then
It can go forever
But only if you want
I know you have deep feelings
I know that quite a lot
But patience is a virtue
I'm still learning it myself
So restraint I must enforce
It's sort of for my mental health
Complexity
All the butterflies inside I feel.
I'm stuck on the hook and you've got the reel.
You once told me in a time and a place.
That a text from me lit the expression on your face.
Now I can say my reaction's the same.
To put it simply and plain.
But this is a poem.
And complexity is something you have to show em'.
So here I go.
I'm going to start out slow.
I can flirt with you.
Without even meaning to.
Even though you negotiate constantly for a kiss.
You're a hard guy not to miss.
When I'm far away.
And my thoughts come out to play.
They often like to wander.
It's the ones of you of which I am fonder.
Your touch I can only dream of.
Due to plans made up above.
But when I imagine the day, my heart beats faster.
At that time nothing will be disaster.
Life will explode with color.
And the magic will be like no other.
Now my heart longs for the day.
That I can wave to you with a greeting of "hey".
My lips playing a constant smile.
Hoping you still like me all the while.
I'll dream of the time.
Of the meeting sublime.
The thrill of my dreams coming true.
No one can cut this thread of destiny, not with any knife.
Special friends I hope us to be.
Even if it's not for eternity.
Life is love.
And peace come by dove.
So help me find that white.
If you do, I know everything will be alright.
Not to mention life is SO much better.
If when you're cold, you have a teddy bear instead of a sweater
Christmas Holidays
When I think of the Christmas Holidays
I think of cheer and snow games
Of smiles and happy faces
Of frost and white places
Though the feelings that come to mind
Are warm hearted and kind
But what is Christmas about?
Really about?
Well in my mind
Christmas is about Jesus
And the love he shows us
It's about God's sacrifice of a son
For the whole human race
It's about following the examples
The ones of love and sacrifice
After all
Don't we need to
Be thou an example of the believers?
Curiosity
Curiosity is seductive
It pulls you in
Gives you temporary satisfaction
Then spits you out
Making you want more
There is a reason, you know
That this killed the cat
Only to bring it back
Think about it
You'll see
There is curiosity
Better not explored
For the mind doesn't need know all things
And it's that way for a reason
So next time
Hold your curiosity back
Think about the cat
Disrespect
Disrespect is a serious offense
It makes everyone put up their defense
Whether a spoken word or a gesture
It puts everyone underneath pressure
The fights
The emotions it causes
They're unfixable
And hard to mend
So maybe today
We should have less to say
Remember that rule?
Of silence unless you have a kind word
Come on people
Give it a try
Thee Connection
Mother and child
No one can touch it
But not everyone has it
It exists
But the connection is missing, someone’s somewhere else
The momma mourns
So does the baby
Both are lost
You wonder when you glance upon the scene
But no one suspects
No one is suspicious of the hidden pain
The superficial conversations on deeper topics
No one remembers
They forget the connection
The bond that is supposed to be there
Just because she lost it
She can’t give it
The baby resents
But life goes on
And baby grows up
Never knowing what was lost
Then momma dies
And baby kisses her baby on the head through her tear soaked veil
A veil of black
Of bitter mourning
Asking why
The infamous why
Why?
Motherhood
Out of love and joy and everything good
I'm not sure they know what they should
So I'll try to teach them, yes I will
So that they'll be rich in the skill
Once More
I take his hand
And stroke his palm
Then the tears start to well up
I try not to remember
I try to smile
Trying to hide the pain all the while
The anger starts to build
Frustration blocking happiness
There's the lump in my throat
Growing with every thought
I close my eyes and go somewhere else
Somewhere the sky is never grey
And where I can smile every second of everyday
Thoughts erased and emotions unwinding
I find a calm impossible any other place
Then into his eyes I look
The smile on my lips so true
Stroking his palm once more.
Open Books
Why is is pain attractive?
People are drawn to an open book
Especially when pain is written all the pages
The only ones not attracted
Are either in the book are writing the words
The writers pray on the innocent
The painless
And teach the book a new pain
A lesson in life
Of the world
The people in it
Broken Heart’s Serenade
No.
No way, this won’t do.
I hate you!
But I don’t hate you.
How could I?
My parents.
Departing even before their deaths.
Not fair I say,
You didn’t try!
Not hard enough…
Did you even talk it through?
Why am I so scared
To talk to you?
I thought there was more time.
I thought the relationship was good.
How could it have been wrong?
I feel so betrayed.
“No way” says my heart’s broken serenade.
It can’t be true.
I had supposed you’d changed.
Both of you.
To something different.
No,
Just farther apart.
This time in disguise.
Listen,
Deep inside me are all of these cries!
Too deep down to hear
By man’s ear.
But look to my eyes,
Occasionally you’ll see,
That glint of sadness you give me…
Empathy
Look at me.
Hope flies amiss
When my compassion comes to play.
Oh why must souls so empathetic
Take in scenes filled with such woe?
Tis not even close to fair
To suggest we should suffer for suffering
Uncontrolled by the soul’s own hand.
No plans. No action.
The way the unorganized go.
Geez what a waste
Of minds.
Of precious potential.
Why suffer the pain of others?
Just remember yourself.
Ah, neither does that work, my dear.
For that is the path in which no man can remain happy.
You must give and give alike.
In order to keep yourself truly content.
Not just transfixed on success and aspires of man.
Because no man lives without the life
Of another man before him.
We cannot do this alone.
Soon!
Soon! Hurry, don’t doddle!
He’s coming soon!
A day of joy awaits those who take care.
The ones that love and know.
Ones who show
Their light shall be lit.
Oh! Who can wait for that day?
Not I!
I welcome it with utter impatience.
The day eternal happiness comes.
When every soul shall know
The knowledge of him.
The one we wait for.
The one we KNOW will come.
When patience’s bell has rung
And all of heaven’s light a glow
Everyone’s true color will show.
Soon! He’s coming soon!
Obituary
Staring at that blank space of white
Deciding what I need to write.
A paper due today;
Tomorrow’s yesterday.
My fingers flew to the keys,
Stroking one by one.
My feelings no one’s heard before.
For this assignment was nothing ordinary
But a hypothetical death.
Obituary! the loud voice boomed through
My earplugs of bliss.
This was a chance I could not miss.
To write of life,
My own to be exact,
To be remembered in death.
Not being told what or how to write.
Just letting ideas flow.
A grade the voice intended to put on this,
But how could that be so?
I felt no grade required.
Too big of a burden to judge.
As I faced the reality,
The sorrowful thought of my demise,
I wrote the thing through tearful eyes.
Lost Ones
Finding myself in a sea of faces.
No one can hear.
Screams of fear
Of pain
Escape the lips of my face.
My face.
The one and only in the room
That sees
That hears
That feels the impending doom.
Lost in their new found places.
Seemingly to just erase everything.
Calling to them
Hoping
Feverishly praying they’ll find it.
The everlasting fruit
The kind that doesn’t just get handed to you.
The kind they have to find;
For themselves.
It pains souls so
To see their loved ones disappear
Onto forbidden highways.
The loss kills all
As the floor shatters into nothingness.
What now?
Honeybee
I love the little things
With all the joys she brings.
That cute, chubby face
My mind cannot erase.
I count her tiny toes
And tap her nose.
Then to me her drawings she shows.
I encourage her so
To help her creativity flow.
Hard work will help her talent show.
If she keeps on going I know she’ll be
The greatest little honeybee.
Laughs
Imagination
Tiaras
Tiny
Loving
Empathetic
Grace-less
Irreverent
Rosy cheeked
Legit
Silly
Crush
Hope journeys through her
Love fills the complacent air
She stares right at him.
Wishing he’ll see her.
Moment being awaited
Discovery needs be made.
Of the secret crush
That has so long been a part
Of the relation.
The relationship
Desperately she longs for.
To make one of two.
Summer’s Rise
The dawn breaks.
Illuminating the sky
With light,
With color,
With life.
Crisp breaths melt.
Celestial globe heating the Earth.
Slowly strolling along.
Gracing the frost with its infernal air.
A glimmer.
A shine.
A sparkle of color surrounds.
The dazzling sight
Caresses your eyes.
Your very source stolen.
Greedily, you take in the precious air.
Sighs of awe strike spontaneously.
The smile takes over your lips.
Warmth fills you.
Sweet fragrance touches
You everywhere.
Hope and happiness
Cease anything except
Joy from coming.
Language
Crude language;
A painful mockery of taste.
The lack of vocabulary
Evident to the world.
No one wants to hear that.
To be in its company.
Stinging the ear with
Every syllable.
Repulsive!
Go away. Never come back another day.
Yet it does,
Hanging from the lips of a participant.
Melting cavities into the soul.
Desensitizing.
Saturating the room
With discomfort!
Leave! I beg you!
Go away…
Never come back another day.
River
I wish i was a rock in the river bed
The security of water always over my head
Weather the day be blue or gray
I would always have a steady day
Instead of broken pieces of a heart, it would be a really long time before i fell apart
Hopes I have always seen
Are now just things in a dream
Every shed tear that swept me to sleep
Doesn't mean anything in my heart's deep
Until I find that happy pace
I don't think I will really ever know my place
Every scar on my soul turn me a darker shade of blue
I really wish I had a clue
My decision not being made
I am most certainly afraid
Hope almost far gone
I realize he wasn't what i wanted all along
My happiness is almost gone
And longing and sorrow taking it's place
Now i know why people wish they could erase
The Dark
In the small hours of the dark
I get a chance to stop
A chance to feel, to see, to actually look
The dark is when life stops
When time goes by and never comes
The best part though, is that I don't have to dream
This clarity comes when I'm awake
When I'm in state of my darkest fear
Being alone with myself
The thing about fears
Is they become addictive
Fears become two things in one
Fears become the dark
They become the clarity
The trick is finding your own dark
Your own clarity, your time to think
Find it and be one with it
The dark is my friend, even if it's my fear as well
The Rain
I hear the rushing sound of rain
Wishing and praying For it to wash away the pain
Just a memory or two
Or better yet, erase that section
Erase him and all he did
Everything, good, bad, evil, or sad
I don't want to remember anything
Release the love, the pain, the hate
The forgiveness, hope and joy
I remember when he said I was beautiful and perfect
Well perfect my recollection of the event
Let me forget
As hard as it is for me to say
I want the picture in my head to go away
To live on life in clarity
I want to have no wishes
Most of them refer to him
Maybe
One day
The rain can wash those wishes away
This Is
The eyes
The nose
The lips
The hair
The smile
The body
The laugh
This is the attraction
The tears
The sadness
The hugging
The whispers
These are the emotion
The memories
That is the love
Words
All the words
Leaping through my brain
So many sentences
It's a wonder I'm not insane
Holding my breath and thinking thoughts
Wondering if they've ever been thought
I hear that voice in my head
Saying them over and over again
Hello
Goodbye
No time to analyze
Or think it through
What am I supposed to do?
These rhyming verses
Regretful curses
Longful wishes
Analogies to fishes
What is it all supposed to mean?
Please
Tell me
Tell me
Please
SO Grown
A girl so grown has forgotten
How not grown she's gotten
Foolish decisions
And irrational actions
Are the way of love reactions
Some say to love young
Is to love best
And you've puttin that to the test
For all the richest in the world
No one's richer that a young boy and girl
This time those two
They appear to be me and you
A special weave
Destiny's designed
Where more than fatuation can be fashioned
First loves are overrated
And neither of us is that
For that, my good sir, I have to tip my hat
Because first loves are deceiving
And now we know a broken heart
So hopefully fate won't tear us apart
i know I seem to ramble
And my thoughts a bit unclear
But let me tell you one thing
And make it really clear
I don't deny connection
And distance doesn't matter
I just think it'll make it better
If we wait a year
By December my 15th six months gone
And the magic number is half way along
If it can go for then
It can go forever
But only if you want
I know you have deep feelings
I know that quite a lot
But patience is a virtue
I'm still learning it myself
So restraint I must enforce
It's sort of for my mental health
Complexity
All the butterflies inside I feel.
I'm stuck on the hook and you've got the reel.
You once told me in a time and a place.
That a text from me lit the expression on your face.
Now I can say my reaction's the same.
To put it simply and plain.
But this is a poem.
And complexity is something you have to show em'.
So here I go.
I'm going to start out slow.
I can flirt with you.
Without even meaning to.
Even though you negotiate constantly for a kiss.
You're a hard guy not to miss.
When I'm far away.
And my thoughts come out to play.
They often like to wander.
It's the ones of you of which I am fonder.
Your touch I can only dream of.
Due to plans made up above.
But when I imagine the day, my heart beats faster.
At that time nothing will be disaster.
Life will explode with color.
And the magic will be like no other.
Now my heart longs for the day.
That I can wave to you with a greeting of "hey".
My lips playing a constant smile.
Hoping you still like me all the while.
I'll dream of the time.
Of the meeting sublime.
The thrill of my dreams coming true.
No one can cut this thread of destiny, not with any knife.
Special friends I hope us to be.
Even if it's not for eternity.
Life is love.
And peace come by dove.
So help me find that white.
If you do, I know everything will be alright.
Not to mention life is SO much better.
If when you're cold, you have a teddy bear instead of a sweater
Christmas Holidays
When I think of the Christmas Holidays
I think of cheer and snow games
Of smiles and happy faces
Of frost and white places
Though the feelings that come to mind
Are warm hearted and kind
But what is Christmas about?
Really about?
Well in my mind
Christmas is about Jesus
And the love he shows us
It's about God's sacrifice of a son
For the whole human race
It's about following the examples
The ones of love and sacrifice
After all
Don't we need to
Be thou an example of the believers?
Curiosity
Curiosity is seductive
It pulls you in
Gives you temporary satisfaction
Then spits you out
Making you want more
There is a reason, you know
That this killed the cat
Only to bring it back
Think about it
You'll see
There is curiosity
Better not explored
For the mind doesn't need know all things
And it's that way for a reason
So next time
Hold your curiosity back
Think about the cat
Disrespect
Disrespect is a serious offense
It makes everyone put up their defense
Whether a spoken word or a gesture
It puts everyone underneath pressure
The fights
The emotions it causes
They're unfixable
And hard to mend
So maybe today
We should have less to say
Remember that rule?
Of silence unless you have a kind word
Come on people
Give it a try
Thee Connection
Mother and child
No one can touch it
But not everyone has it
It exists
But the connection is missing, someone’s somewhere else
The momma mourns
So does the baby
Both are lost
You wonder when you glance upon the scene
But no one suspects
No one is suspicious of the hidden pain
The superficial conversations on deeper topics
No one remembers
They forget the connection
The bond that is supposed to be there
Just because she lost it
She can’t give it
The baby resents
But life goes on
And baby grows up
Never knowing what was lost
Then momma dies
And baby kisses her baby on the head through her tear soaked veil
A veil of black
Of bitter mourning
Asking why
The infamous why
Why?
Motherhood
Out of love and joy and everything good
I'm not sure they know what they should
So I'll try to teach them, yes I will
So that they'll be rich in the skill
Once More
I take his hand
And stroke his palm
Then the tears start to well up
I try not to remember
I try to smile
Trying to hide the pain all the while
The anger starts to build
Frustration blocking happiness
There's the lump in my throat
Growing with every thought
I close my eyes and go somewhere else
Somewhere the sky is never grey
And where I can smile every second of everyday
Thoughts erased and emotions unwinding
I find a calm impossible any other place
Then into his eyes I look
The smile on my lips so true
Stroking his palm once more.
Open Books
Why is is pain attractive?
People are drawn to an open book
Especially when pain is written all the pages
The only ones not attracted
Are either in the book are writing the words
The writers pray on the innocent
The painless
And teach the book a new pain
A lesson in life
Of the world
The people in it
Broken Heart’s Serenade
No.
No way, this won’t do.
I hate you!
But I don’t hate you.
How could I?
My parents.
Departing even before their deaths.
Not fair I say,
You didn’t try!
Not hard enough…
Did you even talk it through?
Why am I so scared
To talk to you?
I thought there was more time.
I thought the relationship was good.
How could it have been wrong?
I feel so betrayed.
“No way” says my heart’s broken serenade.
It can’t be true.
I had supposed you’d changed.
Both of you.
To something different.
No,
Just farther apart.
This time in disguise.
Listen,
Deep inside me are all of these cries!
Too deep down to hear
By man’s ear.
But look to my eyes,
Occasionally you’ll see,
That glint of sadness you give me…
Empathy
Look at me.
Hope flies amiss
When my compassion comes to play.
Oh why must souls so empathetic
Take in scenes filled with such woe?
Tis not even close to fair
To suggest we should suffer for suffering
Uncontrolled by the soul’s own hand.
No plans. No action.
The way the unorganized go.
Geez what a waste
Of minds.
Of precious potential.
Why suffer the pain of others?
Just remember yourself.
Ah, neither does that work, my dear.
For that is the path in which no man can remain happy.
You must give and give alike.
In order to keep yourself truly content.
Not just transfixed on success and aspires of man.
Because no man lives without the life
Of another man before him.
We cannot do this alone.
Soon!
Soon! Hurry, don’t doddle!
He’s coming soon!
A day of joy awaits those who take care.
The ones that love and know.
Ones who show
Their light shall be lit.
Oh! Who can wait for that day?
Not I!
I welcome it with utter impatience.
The day eternal happiness comes.
When every soul shall know
The knowledge of him.
The one we wait for.
The one we KNOW will come.
When patience’s bell has rung
And all of heaven’s light a glow
Everyone’s true color will show.
Soon! He’s coming soon!
Obituary
Staring at that blank space of white
Deciding what I need to write.
A paper due today;
Tomorrow’s yesterday.
My fingers flew to the keys,
Stroking one by one.
My feelings no one’s heard before.
For this assignment was nothing ordinary
But a hypothetical death.
Obituary! the loud voice boomed through
My earplugs of bliss.
This was a chance I could not miss.
To write of life,
My own to be exact,
To be remembered in death.
Not being told what or how to write.
Just letting ideas flow.
A grade the voice intended to put on this,
But how could that be so?
I felt no grade required.
Too big of a burden to judge.
As I faced the reality,
The sorrowful thought of my demise,
I wrote the thing through tearful eyes.
Lost Ones
Finding myself in a sea of faces.
No one can hear.
Screams of fear
Of pain
Escape the lips of my face.
My face.
The one and only in the room
That sees
That hears
That feels the impending doom.
Lost in their new found places.
Seemingly to just erase everything.
Calling to them
Hoping
Feverishly praying they’ll find it.
The everlasting fruit
The kind that doesn’t just get handed to you.
The kind they have to find;
For themselves.
It pains souls so
To see their loved ones disappear
Onto forbidden highways.
The loss kills all
As the floor shatters into nothingness.
What now?
Honeybee
I love the little things
With all the joys she brings.
That cute, chubby face
My mind cannot erase.
I count her tiny toes
And tap her nose.
Then to me her drawings she shows.
I encourage her so
To help her creativity flow.
Hard work will help her talent show.
If she keeps on going I know she’ll be
The greatest little honeybee.
Laughs
Imagination
Tiaras
Tiny
Loving
Empathetic
Grace-less
Irreverent
Rosy cheeked
Legit
Silly
Crush
Hope journeys through her
Love fills the complacent air
She stares right at him.
Wishing he’ll see her.
Moment being awaited
Discovery needs be made.
Of the secret crush
That has so long been a part
Of the relation.
The relationship
Desperately she longs for.
To make one of two.
Summer’s Rise
The dawn breaks.
Illuminating the sky
With light,
With color,
With life.
Crisp breaths melt.
Celestial globe heating the Earth.
Slowly strolling along.
Gracing the frost with its infernal air.
A glimmer.
A shine.
A sparkle of color surrounds.
The dazzling sight
Caresses your eyes.
Your very source stolen.
Greedily, you take in the precious air.
Sighs of awe strike spontaneously.
The smile takes over your lips.
Warmth fills you.
Sweet fragrance touches
You everywhere.
Hope and happiness
Cease anything except
Joy from coming.
Language
Crude language;
A painful mockery of taste.
The lack of vocabulary
Evident to the world.
No one wants to hear that.
To be in its company.
Stinging the ear with
Every syllable.
Repulsive!
Go away. Never come back another day.
Yet it does,
Hanging from the lips of a participant.
Melting cavities into the soul.
Desensitizing.
Saturating the room
With discomfort!
Leave! I beg you!
Go away…
Never come back another day.
River
I wish i was a rock in the river bed
The security of water always over my head
Weather the day be blue or gray
I would always have a steady day
Instead of broken pieces of a heart, it would be a really long time before i fell apart
Hopes I have always seen
Are now just things in a dream
Every shed tear that swept me to sleep
Doesn't mean anything in my heart's deep
Until I find that happy pace
I don't think I will really ever know my place
Every scar on my soul turn me a darker shade of blue
I really wish I had a clue
My decision not being made
I am most certainly afraid
Hope almost far gone
I realize he wasn't what i wanted all along
My happiness is almost gone
And longing and sorrow taking it's place
Now i know why people wish they could erase
The Dark
In the small hours of the dark
I get a chance to stop
A chance to feel, to see, to actually look
The dark is when life stops
When time goes by and never comes
The best part though, is that I don't have to dream
This clarity comes when I'm awake
When I'm in state of my darkest fear
Being alone with myself
The thing about fears
Is they become addictive
Fears become two things in one
Fears become the dark
They become the clarity
The trick is finding your own dark
Your own clarity, your time to think
Find it and be one with it
The dark is my friend, even if it's my fear as well
The Rain
I hear the rushing sound of rain
Wishing and praying For it to wash away the pain
Just a memory or two
Or better yet, erase that section
Erase him and all he did
Everything, good, bad, evil, or sad
I don't want to remember anything
Release the love, the pain, the hate
The forgiveness, hope and joy
I remember when he said I was beautiful and perfect
Well perfect my recollection of the event
Let me forget
As hard as it is for me to say
I want the picture in my head to go away
To live on life in clarity
I want to have no wishes
Most of them refer to him
Maybe
One day
The rain can wash those wishes away
This Is
The eyes
The nose
The lips
The hair
The smile
The body
The laugh
This is the attraction
The tears
The sadness
The hugging
The whispers
These are the emotion
The memories
That is the love
Words
All the words
Leaping through my brain
So many sentences
It's a wonder I'm not insane
Holding my breath and thinking thoughts
Wondering if they've ever been thought
I hear that voice in my head
Saying them over and over again
Hello
Goodbye
No time to analyze
Or think it through
What am I supposed to do?
These rhyming verses
Regretful curses
Longful wishes
Analogies to fishes
What is it all supposed to mean?
Please
Tell me
Tell me
Please
Purposes
This blog's soul purpose will be to fulfill my cravings of fame and publicity. What will happen is I will post everything that is reading-worthy on here that I write (poems, short stories, essays, etc.). And after that, they are at the mercy of anyone who actually reads my blog. Here we go, hope you enjoy. : )
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